When Your Nervous System Takes Over: A Short Story About Learning to Self-Regulate
Maya sat quietly on the couch in her therapist’s office, her shoulders slightly slumped and her eyes tired.- “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she said softly. “Some days I just feel… exhausted. Like everything is too much. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just shut down.”
Her therapist nodded gently.-“Nothing is wrong with you,” the therapist replied. “Your nervous system may just be trying to protect you.”
Maya looked up, curious.-“My ne
rvous system?”
“Yes,” the therapist said. “Our bodies have built-in responses designed to keep us safe. Sometimes when we feel overwhelmed, our nervous system shifts into something called a dorsal vagal state. That’s the shutdown response.”
“That sounds like me,” Maya said quietly. “I feel hopeless sometimes… tired… like I just want to disappear under the covers.”
“That’s a common experience in the dorsal vagal state,” the therapist explained. “Your body isn’t being lazy. It’s trying to conserve energy because it feels overwhelmed.”
Maya leaned back slightly, absorbing the idea.
“So what do I do when that happens?” she asked.
The therapist smiled reassuringly.-“We don’t try to force your body to suddenly be energetic. Instead, we help it move very gently back toward safety.”
A Small Moment of Movement-“Let’s try something small,” the therapist said.
“Small is good,” Maya replied with a faint smile.
“First, notice your body. Can you wiggle your fingers a little?”
Maya looked at her hands and slowly moved her fingers.
“Good,” the therapist said. “Even small movement can signal to your nervous system that you’re not completely stuck.”-After a moment, the therapist continued.
“Now I want you to think about a moment when you felt peaceful. Maybe sitting near water, being with someone you trust, or listening to music you love.”
Maya closed her eyes briefly.-“I’m thinking about a trip I took to the beach,” she said.
“Beautiful,” the therapist said. “Your nervous system responds to memories like that. Visualization can help your body feel a little safer.”
Maya exhaled slowly.-“I actually feel a little lighter,” she said.
When the Nervous System Goes Into Overdrive-“Sometimes the opposite happens too,” the therapist explained. “Instead of shutting down, your body might go into fight or flight.”
“That definitely happens,” Maya said. “When I’m overwhelmed at work, my heart races and my thoughts won’t stop.”
“That’s your sympathetic nervous system mobilizing energy,” the therapist said. “Your body is preparing to take action.”
“So how do I calm that down?”
“In those moments, it helps to release the excess energy.”
The therapist demonstrated by shaking their hands lightly. “You can stretch, go for a short walk, or shake out your arms and legs. Even writing down racing thoughts can help your brain slow down.” When the Body Freezes
Maya thought for a moment.-“Sometimes I don’t feel anxious or tired,” she said. “I just… freeze. Like my brain stops working.”
“That’s another protective response,” the therapist explained. “It’s called the freeze response.”
“So what helps with that?”
“Gentle grounding,” the therapist said. “Look around the room and name five things you see.”
Maya glanced around.- “The window. The plant. Your notebook. The lamp. The rug.”
“Excellent,” the therapist said. “That helps your brain reconnect to the present moment.” Creating Signals of Safety. Before the session ended, the therapist gave Maya a few simple ideas she could use when she noticed her nervous system shifting.
“When your body feels overwhelmed,” the therapist said, “try sending it signals of safety.” “These small things tell your nervous system that it’s okay to relax,” the therapist explained.
- Sitting or lying down with a weighted blanket
- Listening to calming music
- Wrapping up in a soft blanket
- Taking slow, steady breaths
- Sitting outside or feeling sunlight
- Talking with someone you trust
Maya smiled.-“For the first time, I don’t feel broken,” she said.
“You’re not broken,” the therapist replied. “You’re human. Your nervous system is simply doing what it was designed to do.”
Maya stood up to leave, looking noticeably lighter than when she arrived.
“And now,” the therapist added, “you have tools to help your body find its way back to safety.”
You Can Learn to Regulate Your Nervous System
If you often feel overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally shut down, therapy can help you better understand how your nervous system works.
Our Clinicians can teach practical tools that help you:
Recognize stress responses in your body
Manage anxiety and emotional overwhelm
Build self-regulation skills
Restore emotional balance
-Amanda Pryor
